As I continue in this journey toward greater intimacy with the Divine Presence, the Spirit of God reveals a transforming fire for which I am both hopeful and fearful. I tremble. My spirit longs to love God with more than this finite flesh is capable; a love, a union that transcends the natural world and embraces the supernatural. How I thirst!
O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Psalm 63: 1)
Though I seek His Presence all the day long, there are times, some great, some small, when I cease to look up. I take my gaze away from the only One that matters. I take His Presence for granted. You see, I know that when I look back, He will still be there. Grace. Jesus walked in daily communion with His Father. He knew God as we can never know Him (and how I desperately long to know Him). How precious must His Presence have been to the Son! How great the sacrifice when Jesus took on the sins of humanity, became an object of abhorrence to His Father, and found He was no longer in communion with God. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?” The utter cry of His soul must have been devastating to the Father. It is devastating to me now. I can neither imagine such loss, nor even consider bearing it. Yet in this triumphant moment of the Son, the veil was torn and all who desired could enter the Presence of God. Jesus experienced the absence of God so that I might never experience such grave loss.
Bernard of Clarivaux writes:
To shame our sins He blushed in blood;
He closed eyes to show us God;
Let all the world fall down and know
That none but God such love can show.
I greatly desire to grow in the knowledge and love of God. To continually be in His Presence and rely on Him for all things. Brother Lawrence says the “greater perfection a soul aspires after, the more dependent it is upon Divine grace.” As my soul professes love for the Living God, I profess also my dependence.
Thank You for Your Presence that I strive always to practice. I seek You each day anew. Forgive me for taking Your Precious Presence for granted, for turning away to things that matter so little. May the work of the Cross be ever before me. Remind me, O Spirit that lives within, of the gift of Your Sacrifice. Be my Divine habit! Let all my thoughts begin and end with You. Teach me how to love You in the Kingdom Among Us so that I might love you all the more in the Kingdom that is coming.