Tag Archives: love of God

Part One: The Least of These

Posted on by
1

Note: This is a two-part blog. Join me on a journey that passes through one of the largest (and most dangerous) prisons in Honduras.

I had a most unique and multifaceted experience in one of the largest prisons in Honduras. It was unique because I was in a prison. It was multi-faceted because the things of God are always filled with immeasurable depths and levels of understanding.

First, let me describe a spiritual encounter I experienced the week prior to my visit to Tamara prison. It was a Sunday, just like any other Sunday with one small exception. In the midst of prayer and worship, God revealed a deep rooted and hidden issue: fear. At the time it felt like terror! It sprung from depths I was unaware existed and daringly stared me in the face. What are you going to do with this fear? My initial response was denial and then as acceptance poured in, my tears poured out. I didn’t know it then, but God was in the process of replacing my fear with His love. We are still in process.

A few hours later, I confronted a deeper revelation of my struggle with fear. Such revelations are the Holy Spirit’s specialty and the danger of interior contemplation. But what a sweet reward it is when the spirit finds healing, peace, and growth. As my old friend G.I. Joe used to say, knowing is half the battle. The other half is what you do with the knowledge.

Obviously, my spirit was in prime reception mode (and high alert!) after acknowledging and (eventually) welcoming the work of the Holy Spirit. Emotionally weak and mentally overwhelmed, I picked up where I left off in Brennan Manning’s Ragamuffin Gospel, where for the third time—in two days!—the gentle and loving Presence of God softened my hard exterior and penetrated the depths of my heart.

Manning’s discussion was on the love of God and the necessity of the disciple to love others and to be loved. “The nature of God’s love for us is outrageous,” he says (p.172). It’s undignified and our love for others should be the same. Where does one start to love outrageously? Why, ourselves, of course! Quoting Carl Jung, Manning continues:

“[W]e are all familiar with the words of Jesus, ‘Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, that you do unto me.” Then Jung asks a probing question: ‘What if you discover the least of the brethren of Jesus, the one who needs your love the most, the one you can help the most by loving, the one to whom your love will be the most meaningful—what if you discovered that this least of the brethren of Jesus. . .is you?” (pp. 173-174).

Slow down. Just meditate on that for moment. What if the least of these—a reference we often assume refers to someone worse off than we are—is actually you? As I read those soul-searing words, I realized with great humility how in need I am of God’s love. Perfect love casts out fear. Again, just meditate on that in your life and circumstances.

So what does this have to do with a prison visit in Honduras? Find out in Part Two: The Joy of the Lord.

God Desires

Posted on by
1

In my pursuit of Christ, it has not ever been a stretch to acknowledge what God is capable of. In short, anything! I have a track record and stories to confirm the magnificence of God and His ability. Nothing is impossible for Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). What could be more exciting or revelatory? What could be more assuring than knowing God can do it? Whatever it is, God can do it. But will He?

Over the last fews years, I have started a new meditation focusing less on what God can do and more on what God desires to do. I recall a key moment in my exploration of divine healing where my eyes were opened to this deeper Truth. Truth — the capital “T” kind — is remarkable. What makes it remarkable is the progressive revealing of its depths. I never doubted that God could heal, that he was able to heal. In fact, I almost took it for granted that God heals the sick, the lame, the deaf, the blind. Of course He does! He’s God. Yet, in all those years of nearsighted acceptance of this Truth, it never occurred to me that He wants to heal.

incense-smokeWhat a difference it makes to distinguish between the ability of God and the desire of God. This seemingly minor exchange of words—ability for desire—is radically transforming my meditations, my prayer-life, my understanding of healing, my relationship with Father God, as well as my outward mindset.

The deeper I dive into this new notion of God’s desire the more certain I am of God’s love for me and the stronger my trust in Him becomes. It is as if in this meditative dance, our embrace strengthens and the space between us lessens. And as our spirits mingle in the delight of God’s desire, I find myself craving not only more of Him for me, but more of Him for others. How my heart breaks for those who feel excluded from God’s blessing! Who confess God’s ability but fall short of recognizing His unrestricted desire. It applies to all. Just as a parent desires the best for their child, when well-behaving or misbehaving, so God desires.

His desire to heal, to create, to bless, to prosper, to speak, to dance, to inhabit praises, to be present must not remain a secret or unrevealed Truth. The difference between seeking God for what He can do and seeking God for what He desires to do, is knowing who He is: Love. He doesn’t heal because He can. He heals because He loves. He doesn’t create because He can. He creates because He loves. And so on and so on.

Now, when I pray, I pray with the growing confidence of God’s love for me and for others.  Instead of pleading with God, “God, I know you can do it so please just do it,” I thank Him. “Thank you, Father God, for your love and your blessing. Thank you that you desire my health, my healing, my provision, my (insert need).”

Lastly, as I meditate on God’s desire, I also meditate on an equally profound promise. He chose me, and appointed me that I would go and bear fruit, and that my fruit would remain, so that whatever I ask of the Father in Jesus name He may give to me (John 15:16). Because He loves.

In Pursuit: Journey to Abandon

Posted on by
2

Note to Readers: As someone recently pointed out, it’s been several months since my last blog. Why, you ask? I’ve been writing my first book entitled, In Pursuit: Journey to Abandon. Look for it to hit the market in last spring/early summer 2014!! Now that my first draft of the manuscript is finished, I hope to share some “teasers” with you in the near future. Get ready!

As I am writing this book, I have been struck by the interest and reaction from those with whom I have shared the endeavor. They predictably pose two questions: 1. What is it about? 2. What is it called? Both are easy questions to answer as I have been meditating on this book and its contents for nearly 7 years. A better question might be, what took you so long?! In truth, though the story has been in development over these many years, the circumstances of my time, spiritual maturation, and conviction to write it have only just aligned.

Due to the consistency of these two questions and the subsequent reaction to my answers, I thought it prudent to offer explanation to my readers. To the first question of content, I generally reply, “it’s my story with Christ.” I confess I enjoy the humorous facial expressions that follow. They seem to imply, “what’s so special about you?” I often wonder if there is a further, unspoken question of my arrogance. After all, why write a book about yourself unless you want people to notice you. In truth, there is nothing special or remarkable about me. The story I tell is less about me and more about God. This is God’s story; His activity in and through me.

I grew up in Christ with the lovely description of God as the Author of our lives. He holds the pen and beautifully writes each page. These stories of God working in and through us are proof of hope, peace and life everlasting. According to the book of Revelation, they are also a great weapon against our spiritual enemy (reference Revelation 11-12). Lastly, I suggest that our stories with God are evidence of His existence and His love for every human being. Don’t believe me? I invite you to join me through the pages of this upcoming book to see His beauty and majesty alive and active in one woman’s life. My life.

To the second question, I chose the current title long before I started writing. However, noting the confusion regarding its meaning from those who inquired after it, I spent many hours in meditation determining whether or not it should change or remain. Ultimately, I chose to keep the original title for its depth and richness. I offer a detailed explanation of its meaning here.

Journey to AbandonIn Pursuit is a reference to my soul-ministry, the ministry of my heart and soul. The development of this personal and vocational ministry is explained in the last part of my book. In short, it is a lifestyle of living in pursuit of and for Christ while embracing His unending pursuit of us. Imagine Michelangelo’s detail of “God Touching Man” in the Sistine Chapel (a remarkable and profound work to see firsthand!!). I draw the image of this pursuit from Philippians 3:12 where the Apostle Paul declares that since he has not yet achieved the end, he “press[es] on so that [he] may lay hold of that for which also [he] was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” What is the end or the proverbial it that is so desired by Paul? What is the “that” he desires to lay hold of? Simply, life with God, both in the now and the hereafter. Paul pursues the Presence of God as Christ Jesus first pursued him with the offer of access to the Living God.

The tagline of the book title, Journey to Abandon, evokes within me the depth of my pursuit as well as the means. Journey, of course, references the spiritual journey. It holds additional personal significance as I have traveled and trekked/backpacked all over the world. Many of you are no doubt familiar with the phrase, “it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey.” There is more truth to this statement than I can adequately relay here!

My inquirers seem to understand the title with little explanation until we reach the word “abandon.” Here lies the point of greatest explanation as we are most accustom to using abandon as a verb that engenders a negative connotation. In this case, however, I use the word as a noun that beautifully describes both the purpose and delight of the creature (humankind) as well as the heart of the Creator.

According to my beloved MacBook Pro’s dictionary:

Noun

  1. give up completely (a course of action, a practice, or a way of thinking)
  2. cease to support or look after (someone); desert. . .leave (a place or vehicle) empty or uninhabited, without intending to return
  3. complete lack of inhibition or restraint

ORIGIN late Middle English: from Old French abandoner, from a-(from Latin ad ‘to, at’) + bandon ‘control,’ based on late Latin bannus, bannum (see ban1). The original sense was ‘bring under control,’ later ‘given to the control of, surrender to’. . . 

The second of these three definitions is perhaps the most common use of the word. Let’s consider definitions one and three and how they apply to us spiritually.

Living in abandon for God means giving up human perspective and drive (e.g. will, desires, hurts, offenses, pain, etc) and exchanging them for His. It is living without inhibition, living in freedom without restraint or obstacles that might keep us from pursuing God. Even better are the references to the origin of the word. Abandon for God is giving Him control, surrendering to Him, allowing Him to fulfill His plan of glory and greatness through our lives. It’s giving Him the pen along with the invitation to write. Another application worthy of consideration is God’s abandon for each of us. He comes after us without inhibition or restraint freely lavishing us with love and blessing, if we would but receive. The Scriptures are filled with stories of His love for us and His desire to fill us with abundant life. Truly, we were made for abandonment in the most positive sense of the word. Abandonment of our ourselves for God as well as His abandon for us.

There is hidden meaning in this title with significance only to me. Along my journey, my pursuit of Christ and His pursuit of me, I endured a season of abandonment, isolation, and loneliness. I was abandoned in the sense of the second definition above. It was through the seeming desertion of people I dearly loved, admired, and respected that I entered the city of Abandon, a new place, built and inhabited by the Presence of God. In this city, I reached new heights and depths of intimacy in Him. I let go of a false sense of identity to embrace a new, chosen identity in Christ. In the city of God, I thrive. I live a renewed, redeemed life rich in the grace of God. Here I am known and accepted as daughter. Abandon is my home. From here, I travel the world with a story to tell; a story of love and mercy; a story of God and my journey to abandon.

Though this book describes my journey to date, it is not my end. However, if it were to end today, I rest in the peaceful acknowledgment of a life well-lived and pleasing to God. His pleasure is not in what I have done or haven’t, in what I have accomplished or haven’t, but in His work and His accomplishment through the Cross. It is my honor to write of the love of God in my life. It is my hope and prayer that readers of this exciting journey will be inflamed with their own stories of God.

Write them down. Share them. Let your story be a mirror of God and an exclamation of His glory. Amen.

Garden

Posted on by
1

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever. (Psalms 52:8 NASB)

Ancient_Olive_Tree_in_Pelion,_Greece

Photo by Dennis Koutou

Olive trees are impressively resilient. Their root systems are vast and robust having the ability to restore or regenerate the above-ground tree if ever destroyed or handicapped. Amazing! They are also long lived. Though I have not yet spent much time near olive trees, the pictures I have seen give me the impression of sturdiness, vitality, and even wisdom.

As I held this verse, this image of a green olive tree in the house of God, during my morning meditation, I heard the voice of God whisper “grow deeper.” Words cannot adequately describe God’s gentle voice. I dare not try knowing how short they will fall. There are those who exclaim, “impossible!” and others who cry, “delusion!” But to those who know the intimate touch of our Father, you know the peace and joy that comes from hearing His voice. From knowing that the Living God speaks directly and personally into our lives. From the infinite space of Heaven, to the finite vessels that we are. What awe comes with the knowledge that He is the treasure living within us and speaking through us to reveal the Kingdom of God to the world!

Grow deeper. With this life-giving word, I see myself as the olive tree in His house. My roots drive deep and wide through the dark and fertile soil that represents His presence or perhaps His Kingdom. He is my source of life providing all of my nutrients, everything I need. Hiding my roots safely within Himself, I grow upward as a monument of His grace for all to see.

Prayer: Rain down, Living Water. Nourish me. Replenish me. Because of You, I will stand when the storms and the wind of destruction come. If, perchance, I fall, my roots will remain. New growth will come.

As I worship and offer thanks to God who is within me and always surrounding me, I cling to this truth: I am not simply an olive tree in God’s garden; I am His garden. Daily He walks within me, pruning when necessary, pulling weeds, watering me with His Love, and celebrating and tasting my fruit. There is joy and pride in His eyes. I am drawn God-ward to His tender touch. There is no limit to the depth, width, or height of His love. Likewise, He places no limit on me. Only beckons me to grow ever deeper, ever wider, ever higher.

Morning Dream

Posted on by
Reply

What a clear, crisp, and beautiful morning! I listen as the birds sing. I listen intently for the Living God. I look around and cannot escape His presence or His provision. Almighty God, how I hunger for more of You and yet You are everywhere. As David says, “You have enclosed me behind and before and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. It is too high. I cannot attain to it” (Psalm 139:5-6, NASB).

My Lord, who knows all things about me and loves me all the more, visits my morning dreams so that He is first in my thoughts when I wake. What love is this! What desire! How unworthy I am. His pursuit of me is incomprehensible. How can I run? How can I hide from this great love? I turn with arms wide open and whisper—for He is so close—“here I am. Have Your way.”

In my morning dream, I dove into the warmth of a salty sea. God was the sea. How vast, how deep and wide! I felt safe (I know this was God because water is not my friend!!). I was held in His strength; His intimate embrace. Carried. Tickled by the playful waves and bubbles around me. Consumed by His touch. Every part of me known, nothing hidden. Washed. Purified. Behold, the depths were unending. Deep called and beckoned me deeper. Oxygen was never a thought or an issue as my focus was on Him. I went farther and farther still never losing sight of Who was before me. The deeper I went, that is the deeper He carried me, the more like Him I became. The water and I were merging; we were becoming one. I, in Him and He, in me. Carried to the depths of His great love.

Perspectives, part 3

Posted on by
Reply

There is a great cost to discipleship but in the end, when all things are measured, the cost of nondiscipleship is far greater. How costly to live a life enslaved to the world, enslaved to the flesh, enslaved to corruption! This is death. In this light, I would pay any cost for a life filled with love, true love, the love that penetrates all darkness and fear, the love that brings safety, the love that lifts to the highest heights, the love that causes our hearts to beat and sing praise. The love of God, the reason we were created. His love is life.

Why, then, is the battle so arduous between flesh and spirit? Ah! That is the crux of life, is it not? Jesus says to find life, you must lose it (Matthew 16:24-25). Plain and simple. Yet once is never enough. No, the battle between flesh and spirit is never ending as long as flesh lives. Therefore, the rise of each sun requires a death in exchange for life. We must crucify our flesh along side Jesus knowing that what we experience He also experienced 100-fold and more.

I am struck by the immeasurable love of God and the measurable love I have for Him. I seek so much more. In fact, I insist there be more! There must be. There is a promise from God that says if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. If I may imitate Brother Lawrence in any area of his life, let it be his love for God. Like him, I am determined to apply myself (my heart, my inner self) to nothing but Him and to love Him only.