Category Archives: Devotion

Experiment in Meditation

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A few years ago, while serving with a missionary family in a Buddhist community, I received an in depth, crash course in the local Buddhist traditions and customs at a well-regarded monastery. It was there that I first encountered the discipline of meditation. Prior to this, I was loosely aware of meditation as a Christ-centered, spiritual discipline, but hadn’t yet fully embraced the depths of stillness. Though I learned to meditate from Buddhists, I assure you my heart and focus is fully committed to Christ. I can’t help but laugh! What lengths and distances God takes us to reveal Himself! Some of my greatest encounters with the Living God, indeed my first, were on the other side of the world, far from home and what is familiar.

In fact, from my first experience with Christ (a story for another day) I learned that God was in pursuit of me long before I began my journey in pursuit of Him. Over the years this truth has solidified within me and Philippians 3:12 has become my close friend.

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12 NASB)

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. (Philippians 3:12-14 MSG)

What does this verse have to do with meditation? Mediation is a form of pursuit. I have recently re-engaged in an exhilarating experiment in meditation that I began several months ago. Exhilarating because any endeavor to pursue greater intimacy with God is exciting!!! Can meditation, quiet, and stillness be exciting? Isn’t meditation the antithesis of such energetic emotion? Perhaps I am abnormal. I hold such anticipation when I prepare to enter meditation, which is simply an exercise of stillness with God-ward focus, because I expect the Presence of God. It is a holy exercise whereby I not only set aside time and space for God’s majesty, but I set aside myself. I quiet the world so that I can hear the voice of God. This is my purpose. This is my pursuit. It is a sacrifice that I believe is well honored and my experience confirms it. After all, what is meditation except entrance into what Jesus calls the inner room?

But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:6 NASB)

Call it whatever you like, but give it a shot. Find a place of stillness both physically and mentally. I sit in the 7-point meditation posture that I learned from the Buddhists. It keeps me alert and allows me to focus my breath. Start with a 5-minute exercise where you quiet your mind and body and focus all of your being on God. When I first started, I would recite scripture to help me focus upward. Don’t be dismayed if you find it difficult to focus on God the entire 5 minutes. It takes practice! Our minds are excellent wanderers! Do what you can and wait for God’s response!

Cadence

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Hear the drum.
Beat, beat, beat.
I raise my head in search of its origin.
Beat, beat, beat.
Steady.

The ever present tempo wraps me in comfort,
But there is something more.
There is a gentle drawing,
A building desire to seek out the familiar cadence.
Beat, beat, beat.

The journey begins.
A pursuit for the call.
Louder, louder, louder.
My spirit yields to the rhythm.
My feet begin to step in time.

Beat, beat, beat.
I join a multitude marching onward,
Marching in unison.
Beat, beat, beat.
Purpose. Direction.

No more distractions.
Only the alluring sound.
Louder, louder, louder.
Wooing me
Deeper, deeper, deeper.

From where does it come?
First distant, then near.
Now, it resonates through my being.
It is within me!
Beat, beat, beat.

I am in time, in rhythm.
Every step planted firmly,
In confidence.
I march on in harmony
To the heartbeat of God.

Practicing Stillness

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Have you ever practiced stillness? Those moments when you calm your body from movement and activity. You release your mind from all thoughts except for the most worthy, which is The Living God. Here you dwell focussing all energy and effort. Time fades away and the beauty of rest begins. The door to intimacy with God opens. Dare we step into the supernatural!

There is power in the Word of God. Some verses hold more than others depending on where we are in the journey. For me, as I continue a practice of stillness, Isaiah 30:15 has captured me most magnificently. “In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.” Straight from the mouth of God. Beautiful! I write these words on my heart.

As I learn to practice stillness, quietness, silence, my purpose is one-fold. Intimacy. This is my pursuit. As David sings,

One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord
And to meditate in His temple.

This is also my song.

On a more practical note, when I am a mature “still-lite” for Christ (I say that mostly in jest!), I do not think posture and such will be as important. By then, it will be part of my lifestyle, my being, if you will. For now, however, in the beginning, posture and location are important for me. They are boundaries that allow me to soar high. I find stillness hard to attain when sitting on my couch, for example. I prefer a floor cushion. I find even less success when reclining! It is far better when my posture is upright and my hands rest gently on my knees or in my lap. With this posture, I am less distracted in my endeavor. Does this sound like a Buddhist monk or Hindu yogi? Perhaps. I smile at the thought. Thankfully, God sees beyond the physical and into the depths of the heart. Here we dance and romance.

This is my journey, my pursuit: to “lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” I pursue the One who first pursued me. Whatever it takes. Wherever He leads. I am in pursuit.

The Justice of God

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Who can comprehend the justice of God?
Mere flesh, finite, fallen?
No, not I.
I cannot fathom it.

For the justice of God is Holy.
True. Right.
Beyond this world.
Beyond our understanding.

Did He not say,
He longs to be gracious,
And waits on high to have compassion
For the Lord is a God of justice?

Justice for who? I sometimes ask.
How short humanity falls,
Demanding what we refuse to give.
Meting out judgment without fear of the Lord.

I do not understand the justice of God.
The pain and hurt of a broken world confuse me.
Though I confess, the lens of my humanity is limited.
Great Judge, when will Your justice be upheld?

You hear our cries from Your Holy Temple.
Our tears you hold in Your Hand.
O Lord, how I have cried.
Illumine my darkness!

Arise, O God of Compassion.
Do not forget the afflicted, the oppressed,
The widow and the orphan.
The broken and the bruised.

One thing is certain, my King.
You are righteous.
You see all. Nothing is hidden.
Everything is laid bare before you.

Alas, my soul looks up to hope.
For a second thing is certain.
One day, we all will know and face what we cannot own.
The Justice of God.

I Am. . .

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I am a sinner. What feels like multiple lifetimes filled with sin is, in actuality, only one life in a fallen world. A fallen world of which I am no longer a member. I have a trusted membership in God’s Kingdom. It is here that I belong.

Sometimes…
I make mistakes. God kisses my tears away.
I fall. God lifts me up.
I rebel. God is my gentle discipline.
I am blind. God is my Light.
I am bound. God sets me free!!

No matter the past, I am still blessed.
I am still chosen.
I am still adopted.
I am still accepted.
I am still forgiven.
I am still redeemed.

Healing Salve

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Anger, O anger, why so near?
You boil to my surface.
Hot.
Threatening to spill over.

I do not call out to God, my Peace.
I call to my fury.
I feed the beast that hides my pain.
Patient God, how much longer will you wait?

I do not call out to God, my Healer.
I am blinded by the steam.
Drawn in. On the edge.
Will I fall in?

I hear a quiet voice alongside me.
My faithful God,
Blowing gently on my hurt,
Binding my wounds.

I reach for the familiarity of the burn.
He whispers again, “Let it go.”
The soul-binding blanket of anger slips away.
My sight restored.

There I am, on the pinnacle of God’s grace,
His breath on my face.
I draw deeper into His Presence.
Stillness, at last.

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This is my attempt to capture a sweet vision of God’s healing salve. We wrestled last night over my anger. O, to be human and in pursuit!! I am thankful He is so much stronger than I! In my mind’s eye, God lifted me from the heat of anger that had captured me and set me gently on a peak. There, the anger fell away – fell into oblivion. Only He remained. It was just the 2 of us. Freedom.

Lady Grace

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Behold, who is that fair lady across the way?

What perfection have my eyes set upon!

Her form, the essence of elegance; her face, more beautiful than the brightest star.

So white. So pure. So lovely.

If only she would glance in my direction.

 

I wonder how she smells; how she might feel.

What I would give to be near her!

To taste the peace of her presence.

To know the safety and warmth of her bosom.

Oh, that she would bless me with her smile.

 

Like a swan she glides amidst the crowds.

See how she captures their attention; her very being scintillating.

How high this magnificent woman! From heaven she has surely fallen!

Here she does not belong. Sadness seeps into my spirit.

How dare I hope for her.

 

What could bring Exquisiteness to this vile place?

Surrounded by muck and grime, hawkers and the impoverished.

Yet, how white her dress remains as the dust swirls about.

What must she think as she beholds the unlovely around her?

May she never look upon me.

 

Yet, what do I observe! This cannot be!

She stoops to embrace those reaching for her.

Into their eyes she looks. No filth does she see.

With tender purpose, she offers herself to each one.

Her soft lips caress their bowed heads.

 

What is this?

What transformation is taking place before my eyes?

What power has this gentle woman?

How can she change what is unclean to clean?

Can this be? Is she looking at me?

 

She glides straight toward me.

I look around. Where can I go? Where can I hide?

Shame overtakes me and I kneel to hide my face.

Fear and trembling as she approaches.

“Forgive me, for I am unpresentable before you.”

 

Her fine fingers lift my chin and I see her face-to-face.

Those penetrating and beautiful eyes dissolve all fear and insecurity.

“I see you.”

What music her words! The song of freedom.

Comfort and hope envelop my fragile form.

 

She draws me to my feet and intimately close.

I feel the warmth of her breath; her lips upon my face.

All weight dispelled, I collapse into her embrace.

Rest.

I am washed.

 

“Fair Lady, Fair Lady, do not leave me,” I cry.

She softly whispers, “I am always available. Call upon me as you need.”

As she begins to move, I cry out again. “Fair Lady, Fair Lady, what be your name?”

She turns to me with a generous smile and mellifluously replies, “Grace.”

I fall to my knees in reverent joy for I have seen and now know the beauty of Lady Grace.

Inch Forward

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This season, I have traveled through the valley under the shadow of death. But as I’ve walked and sometimes crawled, God has led me forward. He has not been concerned with my pace. Only my progress. An inch is an inch forward. An inch is worthy of great celebration! Who can count the times God has toasted to an inch! Do you know the joy of an inch?

Now, I am pushing through the briars and the thickets of this dark wilderness. Light, my ever present guide, is ahead. I feel the breath of freedom on my face. I am coming through! I have broken through! Like a child walking for the first time, I strive for the arms of my Father. There He is. Arms outstretched with a smile that draws me toward Him. I am coming!

Hand in hand we walk as He reveals where I’ve come, where I am, and where we are going. We are going together. We have always been together. My God, my God who has never forsaken me! You are all that matters. You are the promise, the hope to which I anchor my soul.

The Lover of My Soul

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I have a Lover. From every mountaintop I will declare it. I have a Lover! I am a lover. I am loved and love.

We unite as only lovers can, simultaneously giving and receiving. My offering is meager compared to His, but He accepts me with such compassion. The softness of His eyes for me reveals it all. We are committed. Growing in union. He knows me and consumes me. I give Him everything. Nothing hidden.

All of our senses are caressed by the other: I, a fragrant aroma to Him; He, the Majesty before my eyes. Weak-kneed, His beauty overwhelms me. My spirit breathes deeply in His Presence and my entire body responds in worship. I fall to His feet in awe.

O to say aloud: my Beloved is mine and I am His. My unending desire. My prize. The reason I was made. How my soul longs for more of Him. What joy! What purpose I have! Love created me to love; to love Him, above all.

I have a Lover. He is the Lover of my soul. He knows my most intimate thoughts and all my ways. Past, present, and future. Fully known and fully loved. His grace washes over me. His love purifies and cleanses me. I am whole with the Lover of my soul.

What excites me most is the pleasure He takes in the love I offer. I am His lover! He calls me by name. He calls me in the nighttime and leads me to His refuge. He calls me when the sun is high and leads me to His well. My Beloved, who never leaves me, His desire is for me. I feel the warmth of His breath as He whispers, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you.”

I have a Lover. My heart overflows. How can He love me? I can hardly believe He chose me! He wants me! I lift up my head and open the door to my heart and soul. I open the door to my Beloved knocking. Come in, O Radiant One. Come in, O King. Come in, O Lover of my soul. Remain with me. Help me remain with You, my greatest desire and satisfier of all my needs. I am Yours.

An Image of Worship

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Standing.
Arms outstretched.
Awaiting Your Presence.
This is my expression of worship.

Head bowed.
Eyes closed.
I’m on my knees.
This is my posture of worship.

You caress all of my senses.
How can I stand?
I dare not move.
Consumed by the flame of Your glory.

Tears streaming.
Heart engaged.
Communion.
This is my offering of worship: all of me.